Va-Etchanan, 5786 - Praying, Pleading, and Yearning

Moses is running out of time… and he knows it. The Children of Israel have arrived at the banks of the Jordan River, and are preparing to launch their campaign of conquest into the Promised Land. Moses, however, is barred from entry. God has decreed that Moses will ascend a nearby mountain, gaze out at the land, even watch his flock enter, and then die right there. At the start of this week’s portion, Moses makes one last-ditch effort to change God’s Mind: “I pleaded with God at that time, saying: ‘Oh, my Sovereign God… let me, I pray, cross over and see the good land on the other side of the Jordan…’” (Deut. 3:23-25) It doesn’t work. In fact, God gets angry at Moses and thunders back: “ENOUGH! Never speak to Me of this matter again!” (26) It’s hard to imagine Moses’ crushing disappointment, considering everything he has done for this people and, frankly, for God. Though I also find myself wondering what it is exactly Moses is requesting. What does he yearn for?

I mean, he did it, right? Mission accomplished. He brought the Israelites to their Promised Land. Would setting a foot or two inside the border really make all the difference? Maybe that isn’t really what he is pleading for at all. I look back at Moses’ relationship with God, and I see a tremendous desire for closeness. At their first encounter, Moses prayed for greater understanding of the Divine at the Burning Bush, beseeched God again in Egypt, and then, after the Golden Calf incident, Moses cried out: “Hareini Nah et Kevodecha!” - “Please show me Your Presence!!” This may seem surprising, since God and Moses speak constantly in the Torah. How much closer could Moses need to feel?? Perhaps Moses’ exclusion from entering Canaan actually feels like a rejection from God, not the land itself. It makes me also question if we ourselves always know what we’re praying for? We may ask God for something specific… but is there more under the surface? A hidden yearning that’s hard to express? It can be difficult to pray sincerely when we’re not even entirely sure what we’re praying about, or praying for. Next time you’re considering uttering a prayer - perhaps during the upcoming High Holidays in September - stop and think about what you’re actually trying to say. Maybe there is more there than you realize. A greater understanding of our own yearnings can also lead to a deeper understanding of ourselves. It couldn’t change the outcome for Moses, but you and I still have a chance!